The Caregiver
Rick drove us from Omaha to the coast of Maine because I was not able to fly yet.
"It is not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it."
~Lena Horne
The Ripple Effect
I write in my book about my acute awareness that my concussion was not only affecting my life but my family’s as well – especially my husband’s. Rick was my primary caregiver. He watched in frustration as I was unable to drive a car, exercise, shop, enjoy favorite restaurants. Rick faithfully, without complaint, drove me to numerous physical therapy sessions, took care of the day-to-day details of our household, and chauffeured me back and forth to work for months until I was able to drive again. He was my rock, my calm in the storm of brain injury recovery.
Caregiver’s View
In response to reading my book, many people have asked for Rick’s perspective. I asked him to share his thoughts. Here is an excerpt from his journaling:
“The best way I can describe the impact of Sharon’s concussion on me is basically all the rules were changed. What use to work, didn’t work anymore. Imagine that you were playing the card game Hearts. You see that you had a good hand, you knew how the other players played, and you felt confident. Everything was going the way you wanted. But then you blinked and now you were playing a completely different card game. Instead of Hearts the game was Poker. The cards looked the same, but the rules had changed and you weren’t sure of your strategy anymore. Everything looked the same but it wasn’t.
After months went by, I started to think this might be as good as it gets. She might not get better. I never gave up on Sharon but the hurdles she had to overcome seemed insurmountable.
Trying to remain optimistic, I bought Sharon a pair of cross-country skis for Christmas. I knew full well that she was not able to do anything that physically challenging, but it was my way of telling her (and the world) that she had a future where she would be able to cross country ski.
I adapted as best I could. It didn’t matter that we weren’t dealt the best hand on this round of the game. What mattered was that we made a good team and together we could cope with the cards before us.”
Take Care of the Caregiver
In many ways our brain injuries are at least as challenging for our loved ones if not more so. In Chapter 13 of my book I describe strategies that worked to optimize my healing and help me remain hopeful and resilient. These same strategies apply to the caregivers as well. If you are a caregiver of a loved one with a brain injury or chronic health issue, please be sure to take care of you. Your loved one is counting on it!
Peace,
Sharon
