The Cloak of Competence
I enjoy photographing heart rocks on the coast of Maine – symbols of Love.
“Love keeps the cold out better than a cloak.”
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Cloaks are often protectors. For example, in the Harry Potter series Harry inherits the Cloak of Invisibility. This magical cloak offered him protection and helped him gain valuable information when he needed it. So, cloaks can be a good thing. They can offer us warmth and protection or in Harry’s case, even anonymity. But is wearing a cloak always a good thing?
Perhaps the reason we wear the cloak determines if its right for us or not. I recently heard a keynote speaker at a conference talk about “the cloak of competence” that people with brain injuries put on. The phrase invoked a flood of memories. All the times I acted like I was OK when I was not. All the times I wanted to be OK when I was not. When your brain injury is invisible it is easier to slip into this cloak of competence. Why are we so attracted to it?
In the first few years of my brain injury, I was often embarrassed by what I could not do. Especially at work. I was acutely aware that I looked “normal” and so was expected to function normally. I pretended to understand what was going on in meetings, when I really couldn’t comprehend much because people’s words flowed too quickly. I pretended to remember people when in truth they were like strangers to me. I had no memory of them. I pretended to be optimistic and brave, when in truth I was scared and barely hanging on to hope by a thread.
I think the danger of the cloak of competence, especially for the brain injured community, is it allows us to live in a continued state of denial of our reality. It stalls the process of surrender that is necessary for healing. We are all loved. Broken or not. Hiding under a cloak or not. So, if you are hiding under a cloak, I urge you to shed it and become visible as you are. Love sees us as we are anyway.
Peace,
Sharon
BTW - June 9th is the Blazing Trails for Brain Injury 5K and 1 mile walk/roll. I will be particpating in the 5K - first time in nearly 5 years. I hope you can join me. Register at www.biane.org
